b-e-a.U.tiful

Saturday, October 07, 2006

recently i feel so out of place. i went window shopping by myself sometimes. i doesnt eat as much as i use to for tea-break and i sleep during my lunch time. i starve myself to sleep in the night. and i feel that my work is taking a step further(this is good news for me as i find myself standing at square 1 sometimes). emails are killing me.

today i pamper myself by selling myself a eye cream, from neutrogena. hopefully it works, as from the packaging it stated that it will reduce dark circles and puffiness. and i need to spare some times out for my eyebrows.. need some trimmings. i need to exercise. hopefully i can see some result in 1 month times after putting in some determination in my makan. i remember the 1st time i control my appetite, i lost 2 kgs for the 1st week.. its good news. i'm still under control of myself. just that i need to do some exercise to tone myself up. will try to do a few sets of leg lifting if i got the time and i dont feel tired. *promises*

recently i keep thinking about myself & you. we are drifting further away from each other. i really hope we can get back close together like we used to. you understand me very well and i dont understand you. but do you think you really understand me? sometimes i think i wasnt given any choice/s to understand you and/or i didnt give myself any chance/s to understand you. your temper wasnt good and you dont like ppl to repeat and repeat and repeat. thats why i always give up after the 1st attempt. you like to stick your face into the monitor and enjoy your CS. you like to plug those ear pieces into your ears to listen to music. and you like to bully me. but i'm glad sometimes someone took the 1st step. although it might not be a good thing, i'm glad we are honest to each other.

Jac stops writing at 9:44 PM

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you are wrong if you think its good enough to be yourself. its never enough. . .