b-e-a.U.tiful

Monday, December 04, 2006
i hate my brother

just now i sneaked into my sis's room while my good-4-nothing brother was sleeping in my parent's room. i searched the room, and found my belt. the one that he, the good-4-nothing denied, whenever i asked him for the everyday. what an "us-O"

i still haven found my red color Swatch. it belongs to the "skin" version. the very thin and more expensive one. furthermore, partial of the watch was a birthday gift from my elder bro. i'm currently wearing the old Swatch which had been fading to a very vintage look but with a very modern face. so unmatching!! and the piece that holds the strap after you interlocked them just came off a few days ago. i need a watch urgently.

my $$ was stolen from my pocket yesterday. and now i'm broke with no $$. waiting for my pay day~ i intended not to give any household allowances this month. due to that "us-O' behaviours, this shall compensate it although the compensation was enough to cover the losses.

i have SO much to complain about that good-4-nothing. he who always brought his good-4-nothing friends back home. my elder bro said that his friends received gifts more than a thousand bucks every year. all from my family. our clothes that went missing. other than that still got my bro's Swatch as well as mine. my water-melon-shaped kakki bag. my bro's friend's volley ball. half a dozen of bicycles, and lotsa $$$.. oh gosh.. forget to add in. still got 1 set of PS2. these are those that i can manage to remember and list them out. there are more in the list.

and have you ever seen daylight robbery? i had. in fact, a few times. i wasnt just the witness, i was oso the victim. and i suffered so much. sometimes i tot of leaving this horrible place and move to somewhere else. maybe a rented room. together with my elder bro. but if we do so, grandma will be alone and when the good-4-nothing attacked her and rob her. she will have no one to turn to. she can just sit on her bed and cry, while on the other hand, experiences the attack personally. all she could do was to let him rob her. for she who was old doesnt know how to made a phone call. she who was old doesnt walk fast or react fast as she previously suffered from a stroke and had yet to recover from it. and soon after that the house will be under the good-4-nothing's control.

my parent was only someone whom we addressed as 'pa' & 'mom'. they doesnt teach their 4th child from right or wrong. whenever that good-4-nothing shouted at mom. pa will only take action and SHOUT AT MOM TOO. he scolded mom for ignoring that good-4-nothing. who on earth would wan to react to that "us-O'? he who only knows how to stretch out his hand and ask for $$$. he who only knows how to take the "YU's family forture to spend on his friends. its not as if they(the other us-O-s) had no parent/s to take care of them. why bother so much for others when you cant even take care of yourself?

pa was another good-4-nothing. my sis named him SOM. know whats that? STUPID OLD MAN. after working on earth for a few decades, he had no savings. last year or the year before, when grandma that old subborn nag ran away from home due to arguments with my mom. pa insisted on bringing her back home to stay. for he thinks that as the elder son she should stay with us. but when you have no $$ and no job will you do that? he, because of his ego, made my grandma suffered more. she might be happier staying with the other relatives while we, the others staying under the same roof are happier too. we will have less worries to worry about and we can lock our room for security and no one will meddle with our things. no one will nag at us for not returning home, not eating the food that she cooked, not returning the tv from AV to normal mode. and we can keep all that naggings away from out ears. and have no one to disturb us in our sleeps as well as having someone to poke their nose into our life.

i really hate my family sometimes. actually to be specific, its more than 1/2 the time. because everyone only wans $$. all they care and talked about. because of this type of upbringing, i wont deny that i'm a money-face myself. and i always feel unsecured with my good-4-nothing home. what to do? what to be done? some body help me please.

Jac stops writing at 1:30 AM

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you are wrong if you think its good enough to be yourself. its never enough. . .